Better in the long run
by President Raggy
Summary: Faberry AU; Quinn meets Rachel for dinner and brings her new girlfriend...but in her heart, she knows she has always loved the little brunette. One-shot, I think. Mildly sad. Hopeful for the future. Thanks!


A/N: I think this is a one-shot… When Ryan Murphy said Quinn had some sort of exciting announcement or change at Thanksgiving, it got my brain working. I think it would be awesome, and give the Faberry fandom a lot of hope, if Quinn came out over Thanksgiving. I KNOW this can't be real since I saw the promo for next week's episode. BUT I kind of like my own version better. So, here she is with her girlfriend, home for Christmas and about to meet Rachel. It's not the happiest of stories, but I hope y'all enjoy!

The announcement at Thanksgiving had been a real shock to most of her old high school friends.

But it was almost a bigger shock to Quinn herself.

And now, here it was almost Christmas, and she was back in Lima at BreadstiX with her girlfriend, waiting to meet someone for dinner.

Her _girl_friend.

Quinn Fabray, ex-Cheerio, teen mom and past president of the celibacy club, had a girlfriend.

Meg knew all about keeping a low profile, since she was from Tennessee and had drawn plenty of bullying in public for being gay. So, as much as she probably wanted to have her bruised right arm draped around Quinn's shoulder, the muscular soccer player occupied herself people-watching.

And that was probably for the best. Quinn didn't really want to talk, or to look into the brown eyes that were so full of admiration for her. The familiar restaurant felt stifling the longer they sat alone, waiting for someone to join them.

That someone swept through the doorway at just that moment, bringing a rush of cold air in as a rush of heat flooded Quinn's cheeks.

Rachel Berry stood on the entrance mat and wiped the wet snow from the bottom of her knee-high leather boots.

Since when did Rachel wear knee-high leather boots?

"Hi, Quinn!" she said as she spotted them. She practically bounced over to the table. The blonde girl got up, gingerly, and tried not to let her breath catch as the little body wrapped itself around her and strawberry-scented hair brushed her nostrils.

This was a mistake.

Why had she suggested this in the first place?

_Maybe because you're in love with her_, a voice in her head said.

Rachel broke the hug and looked at Quinn happily. "Hey. You look great!"

Quinn knew it. It had been intentional, the time she took getting dressed and fixing her hair and makeup. She knew the tapered navy pants, grey cardigan and tan suede boots fit her body perfectly, and the light makeup brought out the gold flecks in her hazel eyes.

But there were some changes she hadn't meant to make: her hair was longer, her skin golden brown from sitting out at soccer games, her body in lean running shape from all the times Meg convinced her to go jogging. She looked good. And she knew it.

Still, as much as she hoped Rachel found this attractive, the first hug wasn't as lingering and sexually tense as Quinn had hoped.

The little diva had turned her attention to the other brunette, who had also stood to greet her.

"You must be Meg," she chirped – and there was no jealousy in her voice, as Quinn was hoping. Meg extended her left hand awkwardly for her to shake.

"Hi, it's so nice to meet you," she said, just as cheerfully, in her smooth Southern accent. "I'm sorry to be an awkward hand shaker. Other hand is kind of banged up right now."

"Oh my God, is it okay?" Rachel asked as they sat.

"Sure, it'll be good as new in a bit. Season's over, anyhow, so I can't damage it any further for a few weeks."

"A few _weeks_? You don't get time off?"

Meg grinned across the table.

"Darlin', we're lucky we get winter holidays off. But I'm sure you understand that, being around Broadway. They work you pretty hard, I reckon?"

"Oh my God," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "I feel like I'm in the Army sometimes."

She seemed to catch herself, suddenly, and blushed. Quinn's insides gave a funny turn. _Of course she'd say something that makes her think of Finn. Damn it_.

But Meg, bless her heart, didn't notice the sudden awkwardness and just nodded, diving into questions for Rachel about her schedule and about the theatre.

Quinn listened on as her heart pounded.

The waiter arrived to take their drink orders. Meg asked for two glasses of water, as usual, because she went into full-on worry mode if she wasn't hydrated enough at any given time. Rachel wanted hot tea and an ice water, and Quinn got coffee – just to keep up her mental strength.

"Y'all excuse me please? I have to use the ladies' room," Meg said, nudging Quinn. The blonde scooted out of her seat. "Thanks baby doll," she said brightly as she sauntered to the bathroom.

The air seemed to be sucked out of the entire restaurant. Quinn sat, feeling suddenly awkward as she sat alone with Rachel for the first time. The waiter brought back the drinks with a smile, and Quinn occupied herself with putting cream and sugar into the coffee.

"She seems nice," the little brunette said as she swirled her straw around her water and smiled at Quinn.

"She is," came the reply, and she meant it. Megan Brooks, the desire of most of the straight or bi guys and almost all the gay or bi girls at school, was one of the most genuine and sweet people Quinn had ever met. And somehow, the starting right halfback for the Yale Bulldogs soccer team found interest in a little freshman from Ohio and wanted to treat her like gold. Quinn hadn't been around at Thanksgiving because she was at the Ivy League tournament with Meg and the team, cheering the squad on.

Yeah, she definitely lucked out. But somehow, after everything, she was the one hesitant to make a move or deepen the commitment. Maybe it was because that, once Quinn admitted to herself that she was attracted to girls, she fully understood her confusing feelings for Rachel.

She finally understood that she _loved_ Rachel.

Her classmates at Yale didn't know a thing about her. Didn't know she had dated boys just to be popular in high school, didn't know she had given birth, didn't know she was once president of the Celibacy Club. People just knew that Meg had an eye on her, and Quinn just knew that she was, well, _attracted_ to the tall athlete.

They began talking in early September, but weren't dating until Meg asked her in front of a group of her friends at Halloween to make it official. Quinn had been suddenly thrust in the spotlight at this, and she was tipsy, so she said yes. Meg didn't drink during the season and would ferry Quinn around if she was drunk. She took her to nice dinners. She helped her study for science classes. She never pushed to start being intimate until Quinn was ready. And she always, ALWAYS was proud to call Quinn hers wherever she went.

Quinn did her part, of course. Meg asked for the occasional back rub or for her girl's help with an English paper. And her dad was a big-shot recording studio manager in Nashville, so her parents could never come to the games. Meg's only sibling was her younger sister Anna, who was a freshman at the University of Cincinnati and who had no car. Naturally, she really appreciated it when her girlfriend went to the games.

Going to the playoff soccer game before Thanksgiving meant that Quinn missed the McKinley glee club reunion. But she didn't really want to go, for some reason. Sure, she missed her friends, but she thought it would be…well, awkward, if she went back and said she was gay now but didn't have her girlfriend behind her to help make it _less_ awkward.

And since Rachel said she wasn't going to that reunion on the Facebook page…well…that was one less incentive to go back.

She was home for Thanksgiving dinner, of course. Her mom wouldn't have let her get out of _that_! And she saw Brittany and Santana, tried to comfort both of them in their heartbreak. She even met the new popular Cheerio, Kitty.

It was Rachel she really wanted to see, though. But now that they were sitting together, she didn't know what to say.

"Where'd you meet her?"

Quinn snapped back to face Rachel's curious brown eyes.

"Uh…" she cleared her throat. "I saw her at an LGBT meeting the second week of school, and then she made a point to run in to me at the pool the next day."

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "At an LGBT meeting?"

Quinn flushed. "Yeah. My roommate's twin brother is gay, so we all went to the first meeting."

Those brown eyes were boring into her, curious and bright.

"So you just saw her there, and…?"

"Uh…yeah, she walked in late with some of her teammates from practice and the LGBT group president introduced them. She was sitting kind of across from us, and I kept seeing her looking my way. I went to the pool to do laps the next day and they were there working out, and she introduced herself."

"Just like that?" Rachel asked, taking a sip of her tea.

Quinn concentrated on pouring more creamer into the coffee, watching the hot liquid turn a sweet shade of tan.

"Yeah, I mean, we talked for a few minutes, she told me to come to a game, said if she scored a goal in the second half I had to let her take me out. And it was so brash, and all her friends were watching, and she really had already made an impression on me so I agreed. And she scored the goal and we started casually seeing each other, and she asked me out around Halloween." There it was, the bare minimum. She idly wondered if the coffee was cool enough…

"So…" Quinn could feel Rachel's eyes on her, could feel her hesitate before she asked the next question.

She forced herself to look up.

"I mean…when did you _know_? When did you know you liked girls?"

Quinn knew it was coming, and she wished to God that Meg was next to her to break the tension. She felt her face grow hot. Rachel smiled at her, surely meaning to reassure her.

"Hey, it's okay! I mean, we're friends. You don't have to feel embarrassed. Look at Brittany and Santana, they came out after having relationships with guys too." She reached her little hand over and patted Quinn's arm reassuringly. But her eyes were still boring into Quinn's hazel ones, wanting an answer.

"I, uh… I don't know, it just feels right with Meg, you know?" she said lamely. But Rachel nodded, taking her hand back and wrapping it around the tea cup. Quinn's hand still tingled from where the little brunette's hand had brushed her own.

"So, is she the first girl you've really been attracted to?"

Quinn felt as if her heart was going to bust out of her chest.

"No," she said, looking down into her coffee. "I've definitely thought other girls were attractive before." She took a sip to keep herself from saying anything else, winced as it burned her tongue.

It was a weak counter-move, but it was true. She'd definitely been attracted to other women.

Particularly the one right across from her.

Meg returned just at this moment, bumping Quinn playfully on the shoulder as the blonde scrambled to get out of her seat. The lanky soccer player sat down and began draining her first glass of water.

"Sorry to interrupt, y'all, what were we talkin' about?" she asked, crunching a piece of ice.

Rachel beamed. "Quinn was just telling me how you two met!"

Meg flashed a megawatt smile, one that she often had on when talking about her girlfriend. "I hope she did me justice," she joked. "I can be one cocky bitch sometimes." Rachel giggled, and the waiter returned to take their order. Quinn smiled shyly, too.

_Safe_.

During the soccer season, Meg could put away close to 4,000 calories a day. She _had_ to with the rigorous schedule of practice. Now, in the offseason, she was working her way down to around 3,000 a day because she still worked out six times a week – cast included. Thus, it was no surprise to Quinn that Meg got one of the biggest pasta dishes on the menu.

She chewed a breadstick with a smile as she looked at Quinn. The blonde smiled back.

_You're lucky to have her_, she told herself firmly. _She's going to suspect something is going on between you and Rachel if you don't stop acting so shy._

The blonde gently laid a hand on Meg's injured right arm.

"How's the arm, babe?"

"It hasn't fallen off yet," came the cheerful reply.

"What exactly happened?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, girl." Meg said with an exasperated sigh, leaning forward for emphasis. "We made it to the first round of the NCAA tournament after we won the Ivy League…Finally beat fuckin' Princeton, which is a big deal for us. They're a pretty big rivalry, like, you know how people get with sports." She had abandoned her breadstick and was talking animatedly with her hands. "Anyway, we went to IU for the first round of the national tournament. Huge game, right? TV crews, people interviewing me before the game, pro scouts there…and we were all out for blood. This was the best our team had done in a while so we were ready to rip their guts out." Rachel's eyes were wide. Meg could certainly tell a flavorful story.

"Well, we were tied 1-1 going in to half, and Coach just ripped us a new one because we technically should have been beating them like 3-0." She shrugged. "But they played really aggressively and the refs weren't calling anything, so we got screwed over. Anyhow, one of my girls passed me the ball with about 10 minutes to go and I was headed up the right side." She was making as many hand gestures as possible with her left hand and the bandaged right arm. "Had two of their players in front of me but I juked 'em and kept on for the goalie. Well, she came out to try and stop me, and right as I swung and shot the ball, one of their girls came up behind me and tackled me. So I was going down and the goalie just plowed into me, just ran right through my arm, and I fell pretty hard."

She paused for dramatic effect. Across from them, Rachel was captivated.

"What happened?" Rachel asked.

"Well, I scored," Meg said modestly. "Goalie read my movement wrong, and that ball went right into the back of the net. And the girl who tackled from behind me got a red card and was ejected from the game. But I was in quite a bit of pain, snapped a bone in my wrist when I hit the ground on top of a major bruise I got when the goalie hit me.. So I was in this cold, wet grass screaming my head off while everyone was celebrating and I was threatening the other team and cussing and bleeding. It was a mess."

She smiled and held up her arm. "But I've got it all healed up, it's just still bruised and sore now. I've been authorized to run, so it's been awesome to be outside jogging again. I wasn't allowed to move much for two weeks. It was torture." The tan brunette sipped her water with a smile and took another breadstick. "Keeps me from bugging Quinn to find me things to do."

Quinn grinned. "I believe I've seen the pilot episode of most of the shows on Netflix because she 'just wanted something to watch' but couldn't make up her mind."

Meg shrugged, her brown eyes sparkling. "You know I appreciate it."

"Yeah," Quinn said with a smile.

Rachel beamed back at both of them. "Quinn, I'm happy to see that you're happy. Really. And no more baby drama or fighting over boys, to boot. Just…the chance that your girlfriend might end up in the hospital with a broken leg."

Meg laughed. "I think she may have a heart attack if I did." She reached over to squeeze Quinn's shoulder with her bandaged arm. "We'd both be in the ER."

She casually leaned back, folding one long leg over the other. "So, hey, Rachel. I'm curious how many straight guys there are in any given NYADA program…because, really, let's be honest here. And my little sister is straight and she's in a music program, and she says there ain't a cute straight guy to be found."

Rachel smiled shyly. "My roommate, Kurt, is very careful to point out which ones he thinks are gay. There aren't too many that pass his ten-point gaydar scan. But there are a few…" Just then, the iPhone sitting next to her on the table buzzed. She jumped and blushed. "Sorry!" She looked at the phone and blushed even further, typing out a quick reply before putting it down.

Quinn did her best not to stare the phone down, though she had a terrible feeling it was the guy Rachel was seeing at school. She found herself mentally shooting daggers at the phone, willing it to shut off or run out of battery or lose service or _something_.

But wait. What was she, jealous of whoever Rachel was texting? She had no right to be…right?

Either way, she was damn curious now. But she'd play it cool.

Maybe.

Luckily, Meg was curious about everything, all the time.

"That's your boyfriend there, then, speaking of cute straight guys?" she drawled, wagging her eyebrows.

Rachel was beet-red.

"Uh, no…" she stammered. "I mean, not…no." She cleared her throat and tried again, more slowly. "Brody and I aren't technically together. I just got out of a pretty serious relationship from high school, so it's probably best for me to take it slowly."

_Brody_, Quinn thought. _So that's his name._

The jealousy was still simmering in the pit of her stomach, so she just nodded. Meg leaned forward.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pried. I was just kidding…Quinn tells me I need to keep my mouth shut."

Rachel gave her head a little shake and smiled slightly. "No, it's okay. He's a great guy, but…I'm just not ready to call him my boyfriend."

"Understood," Meg said with a friendly shrug. "And hey, to cover up my awkward moment…here's the food!"

Quinn was thankful for the steaming plate of chicken marsala and cup of minestrone that appeared in front of her. Meg had a pile of some sort of shrimp pasta, and Rachel, being the vegan that she was, had a simple plate of spaghetti.

They ate in relative silence for a bit. Meg asked Rachel about how Hurricane Sandy affected classes, and if she had seen Chris Christie visit New York – "is he as big as he looks on TV?" Quinn tried to keep involved in the political discussion, and then the topic of gay marriage that followed, but the knots in the pit of her stomach kept her mouth shut.

She wasn't too sure if she was happy or sad when the plates were empty. On one hand, they'd be leaving shortly and maybe she'd calm down. The coffee had made her jittery and she had to pee. On the other hand, who knew when she would see Rachel again?

She looked up from her almost empty bowl and took a minute to stare at the girl she had once tried so desperately to destroy. The girl she had been confused about all through high school.

The girl she loved.

Sure, Quinn loved Meg. It was easy to. But were they in love? Certainly not from Quinn's end.

With Rachel, there was no doubt. There couldn't be, any more. Why else had she spent years trying to hide her feelings? Why did she try so hard to cover up the fact that maybe she liked girls? Why did she buy that damn train pass senior year? Why did she spend all semester trying to find a free weekend to go up there, but never did? Why couldn't she just. Stop. Thinking. About. Rachel?

The knots in her stomach from coffee and chicken and nerves were making her palms sweat. Right in the middle of a very good Meg Brooks impersonation of the President, Quinn shot up.

Both brown-eyed girls looked at her in mild confusion.

"Coffee, I gotta…I gotta pee."

She tried her best to gracefully sail off, but her feet felt lumbering and clunky. In the dimly-lit bathroom, she rubbed a little water on her face and took a few deep, calming breaths. Then, she opened a stall door and sat on the cold toilet, her head in her hands.

The bathroom door opened and someone came in. Quinn combed her fingers through her hair with a sigh and stood up, flushed the toilet, and opened the stall door.

She froze.

Rachel was at the mirror, closely examining a zit on the side of her nose.

"Hey," she said with a smile, pulling a little compact kit out of her purse and brushing a little foundation over the zit. "You okay?"

Quinn concentrated extra hard on the foamy soap.

"Mmhmm, just a little too much coffee."

Rachel laughed and reached back in to her purse, extracting a box of Tic-Tacs. "Want one?" She popped one in her own mouth.

"Sure, thanks, Rach."

The brunette beamed and shook a few into Quinn's outstretched hand. Quinn popped them in her mouth.

Her face was growing hot again.

"Oh no!" Rachel said, leaning in suddenly. "Your eyeliner is all smudged under your eye."

A vision of junior prom, that night in the bathroom when Quinn had slapped her right in the face, came flooding back suddenly.

_What is it with us and bathrooms?_ She thought as Rachel took a step in and wiped her thumb under Quinn's eye.

The hazel eyes closed, savoring the fleeting brush of skin on skin. They slowly opened to find brown eyes looking up into them from a very, very, _very _ uncomfortably short distance.

Rachel's hand was still hovering in the air at Quinn's eye level, and she dropped it to her side. The brown eyes looked back down as the two stood facing each other.

"Thanks," Quinn said softly. Rachel looked back up, something unreadable now on her face. Quinn just stared, at a loss for what to do.

"I missed you," Rachel said after a moment. "I'm glad to see you're happy."

"Yeah, I'm happy…enough. I'm sorry I didn't get time to come see you this semester…"

"No, I understand." The brunette looked back down. "I was booked almost every weekend, but…it would have been nice to see you. Kurt and I would have been happy to have you stay with us."

"Really?"

"Of course!" Rachel took one of Quinn's hands in hers. "Like I said, I missed you, Quinn. I'm so happy I could have dinner with you tonight."

"Yeah, me too. I mean, I missed you, too."

"Maybe next semester you can come up? Or I could come see you…"

"I'd like that." Quinn shifted her weight from her sweaty left foot to her even sweatier right one, and bumped Rachel's knee. "Oops! Sorry…" She felt excruciatingly awkward, and looked down as if there was going to be some injury or something. A few strands of hair fell in her face, but Rachel reached out and tucked them back behind her ear almost instantly. Her soft hand remained on the side of Quinn's cheek.

Their eyes locked. Rachel was still holding Quinn's hand in one of her own. Quinn had been sweating this whole time, but now she definitely felt Rachel's palm began to dampen.

She knew she should pull away, that Rachel couldn't possibly be thinking along the lines of what Quinn was. But that strange look in those brown eyes was tantalizing, haunting, and it would be so easy to just lean down and close the distance, to kiss her and try to convey without words something that she had been feeling for so many years.

Quinn wasn't always the best at self-control, and neither was Rachel, she knew that, but she still just did not know if the brunette girl had any feelings for her. And even if she did, how would a relationship work? Quinn would have to break it off with Meg, Rachel would have to put further distance between herself and Brody and Finn. A long-distance relationship between two girls with totally different futures, between girls with such a deep and complicated history? How would they tell the Glee Club? How would they tell the parents?

…no. It was impossible. It couldn't work.

So Quinn reached around and pulled Rachel in a tight hug and then, because she wasn't always the best at self-control, planted a chaste kiss on the top of the shorter girl's head. Rachel gave a little sigh and hugged tighter.

They pulled apart, still inches apart, tears now threatening to form in Quinn's eyes.

"Happy Holidays, Rach."

"Happy Holidays, Quinn."

And then they separated, Quinn holding the door open for Rachel as they returned to the table, where Meg had paid for all of their dinners and had her girlfriend's coat in her arms, ready to go. They all said a short goodbye outside in the parking lot and Rachel walked to her car, not turning back, not looking at Quinn, not saying another word.

Quinn sat in Meg's car, staring out the window as the tall athlete hummed along to "O Holy Night."

She knew she probably wouldn't use that ticket next semester.

It would hurt too much.

Maybe down the road they would meet again, at a new juncture in their lives. Quinn would always wonder, of course, what would have happened if she had kissed Rachel in that bathroom or at any other point in their lives.

But no matter what she felt, she knew that this was better in the long run.

…she had to keep telling herself that.

###


End file.
